This week Reddit users were asked: ‘Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you?‘
Unsurprisingly there were an array of pretty terrifying responses, and we’ve rounded up ten of the best.
10. Creepy dating advice
‘I jokingly asked: “What’s the best way to get a girlfriend?”
’7-year-old’s response: “Tell her to be my girlfriend or she’ll never see her parents again”.’ – abluesxs
9. Sibling rivalry
‘My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy its a monster..we should bury it”.’ – Like_I_was_sayin
8. Watch out grandma
‘Not to me, but to his grandmother.
‘He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she’s very old, and will die soon.
‘Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.’ – NotTomPettysGirl
7. Goodbye dad
‘I was tucking in my two year old. He said “Good bye dad.” I said, “No, we say good night.” He said “I know. But this time its good bye.”
‘Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.’ – UnfortunateBirthMark
6. Beware of monsters
‘While not something my own child has said, my younger cousin (around 5 at the time) once drew a picture of a a black monster, looked up at me, and said “He told me to draw this. He’s coming for you. You better hide.’ – Nilliak
5. Skin peel
‘I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4 year old daughters face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, “I want to peel all your skin off”.
‘The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep addled state however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn’t know if I was dreaming, or what was going on.’ – psalm_69
4. Sibling rivalry part 2
“So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?”
’3 year old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time.’ – olafthebent
3. Cat crucifixion
‘When I was about 3 we had a cat that had still born kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked: “aren’t those too small?”
‘Dad: “What do you Mean?”
‘Me: “aren’t we going to nail them to them?”
‘Dad: (after several moments silence) “we’re not going to do that”
‘Me: “oh” – Tom_Zarek
2. Past lives
“Daddy, remember that time we died?” –CtrlShiftZ
‘A friend of mine’s child told him “Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want”.’ – GatorMcGovern